Carlos Gomez

The Injury Heard 'round the World

Today, the usual "Hot 'n Sexy" mood of Hot Carlos that we all know and love has completely dissappeared. A tragic accident has befallen our favorite model. Read the rest of the story below, keeping in mind the sacrifices Carlos has made for the modelling community. While it pains me to go through this again, the tears I shed while making this article go towards a noble cause, so other young aspiring models will not fall into the same traps.

Explicit Content warning. Somone, somewhere might be offended by something. For that reason Parental Discretion is Recommended.

Once upon a time, Carlos was doing some new poses for his "Timeless Collection". Little did he realize, those with the sunburned necks standing behind him had some sinister plans.




Pretty soon a group of the Sunburned Necks were yelling "Git-R-Done!" In no time Carlos was on the ground. The trauma caused by this was so great that for a few minutes he resembled Andrew Boozer. (Luckily, he eventually got better, and thus, his modelling career was saved.)

Pretty soon the Rednecks decided to go buy some "Natural Ice" and go huntin' n fishin'. Right as Carlos thought he was safe he was attacked by a Ninja! While the Ninja seemingly had the advantage with his sword, Carlos demoralized the Ninja by pointing out that Purple headbands are soooo last year, and that any self appreciating Metrosexual wouldnt be caught dead within 500 feet of him. The ninja cried black tears all the way home.




But Carlos' Troubles were not over. Soon, A Hippie, Confederate (look at the hat) Pirate had decided to attack Carlos for "dixie" or something. It was really hard to understand him. Im not even sure if he was talking American.



But Carlos was able to use his amazing strength to Beat back the Hippie Pirate. Once the ladies heard, they were all over him. A gropefest ensued.


It Continued.... On...
And On..........


Unfortunately, all this fun with the ladies took its toll. One of the girls got a little too "excited" and accidentaly sprained his ankle.

Luckily Carlos had his friends, Tex and Ron Weasley to help him out.

Pretty soon the bell rung, and Carlos realized he was gonna be late for class. So he rode his trusty steed and made it to Biology on time.


The Moral of the Story: Only make out with fewer than 20 girls at once.


The End!

posted by Jump! @ 2:42 PM